Song Stories From the Edge: Track 1 – Summer Dreaming

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Lincoln enters into the joyous legacy of the “endless front yard” at the Chud homestead.

It was the summer of 2003, and the first full year that I had spent away from my Alaskan homeland. I was in England for the three months, and as much as I was enjoying the old country’s rolling hills, I was missing the more dynamic Talkeetna mountain range near the point of tears. I did a lot of daydreaming that summer, picturing myself running through my “endless front yard” and across a ridgeline in Hatcher’s Pass in order to maintain my sanity. Most people call it “homesickness,” but for me, it’s more like “childhood-sickness.”

This song was my self-therapeutic attempt to articulate the tension involved in leaving home and all that it represents. I always knew I was nostalgic, but as I wrote this tune across that summer, I realized just how core that fact was to the way I see the world. I’ve never been good at growing up. I feel a lot like every day of adulthood is simply pretending to have a clue of what I’m doing (and most of the time I fail at effectively convincing anyone that I do). I am all the more aware of this as I watch my son listen to this song. Fittingly, it has been our cure to his temper tantrums while riding in the car since the day he was born. When the tears are uncontrollable, for some reason this tune is the quick fix.

The final verse of “Summer Dreaming” has been a resolve I’ve returned to many times along the journey, and it rings as true today as it did 12 years ago when it was first penned. I’ve gotten comfortable existing in the in between over the years, and increasingly confident that the good Lord is comfortable – maybe even appreciative – of that part of me as well:

I was only dreaming,
But I’m ready to do some of that with my eyes wide open
Here’s hoping
Cos the present is a gift that I’m ready to open too
I’ve gotta find the line that lets me be
some kind of grown up and still a kid
Cos I know the good Lord smiles as I love what I’m doing now,
And I long for what I once did

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Hatcher Pass Sunset (courtesy of Cecil Sanders Photography)

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